Acrylic on canvas
80 x 100 cm
November 2026
Unique
The Illusion of Being Beyond Healing
Sometimes, it isn’t the goodbye itself that hurts me the most. It is everything that came before it. The breaking of trust. The realization that what once felt familiar has suddenly become unfamiliar. That memories which once gave me a sense of comfort now raise questions to which there may never be any answers.
Some wounds run so deep that I can hardly imagine ever feeling carefree again. Moments when it isn’t just something around me that falls apart, but something within me, too. A piece of security. A piece of innocence. The belief that the people I trust with my innermost self will handle it with care.
And then the pain remains. Not always loud. Sometimes very quiet. Hidden in memories, in thoughts, in moments when a wound I thought had long since healed suddenly makes itself felt again.
My painting tells the story of this inner breaking. Of dark surfaces pressing heavily against one another, of sharp edges and lines that were once connections but now lead nowhere. And yet, amidst all these fragments, light begins to emerge. Barely perceptible at first, then increasingly visible.
Perhaps healing, to me, does not mean that every trace must disappear. Perhaps some scars will remain forever. Perhaps there will be memories that still hurt, even years from now.
And yet, I can feel that something is changing. Not the past. Not what happened. But the meaning I allow it to have in the life that lies ahead of me.
I am learning to live with my broken places without breaking apart myself. I am discovering that I can still feel, trust, hope and love. That I am more than the things others have broken within me.
And perhaps this is where the illusion of being beyond healing lies:
In believing that something must disappear without a trace in order for us to truly heal.
Some scars remain. But perhaps one day they no longer need to hurt to remind me of everything I have made it through.
Not everything will ever be the way it was before. But perhaps that is exactly where my new beginning can take shape.