Acrylic on canvas
Diptychon
2 x 80 x 80 x 1,6 cm
May 2026
Flooding of the mental order
For me, this diptych does not tell of two different pictures, but of two states of the same inner self… of a moment that slowly tilts.
In the left picture, I still move in a kind of mental expanse. The colors breathe. Turquoise, green, and light yellow open up a space that appears calm, almost light. The shapes float rather than struggle. Even where red appears, it still has direction… no outbreak. I experience this state like an inner ordering, a careful holding together of thoughts, perceptions, and sensations. Nothing is completely still, but everything still seems negotiable with one another. Then something changes.
Almost imperceptibly, the atmosphere begins to shift.
The right image carries a different temperature for me. The red spreads out like an emotional pressure that no longer stays in the background. The colors thicken, become heavier, hotter, more immediate. The geometric elements no longer make their way only in a constructed manner, but like fragments of a state that escapes my control, and suddenly lines intersect through space… like thoughts that have become too fast. Shapes collide, drift apart, lose their calm.
And yet a certain order remains. For the images still make the ambivalence of my existence visible by constantly moving between opposites… between control and decay… between precision and emotional overload… between beauty and inner tension.
Between the red areas, small areas of clarity persist within an emotional flood… like the attempt to maintain an inner support while everything is simultaneously shifting. The elements thereby express the language of my inner self… sharp, vulnerable, precise, and unstable at the same time. It shows an inner wavering, a balance that still exists and at the same moment is already beginning to break. But it is not a complete collapse… it is more the moment before. The moment when my thinking and feeling can no longer be clearly separated… when emotion begins to overlay the mental order, without completely erasing it. Probably that is exactly where the tension lies… in the attempt to maintain structure while something beneath it has long since become unbound.
